so it's been a little while since i've been on here. and things have happened. lots of them.
i promise to blog in full tomorrow when i'm not feeling this appallingly bad. scout's honor!
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
NMM: Something resembling early Edition.
Since last week was approaching epic-bad proportions, there were several things that i made DARN sure to stay away from this week.
For example, G and i didn't get a little sloshed early last week and decide that oatmeal raisin cookies were required. Right then. I'm apparently now on the way to becoming a functioning alcoholic.
I also have not killed nearly the whole batch singlehandedly, because of course, i know after two months i am totally welcome to eat the food in here, and G is not my ex, and won't get mad at me for no reason.
Some night, a few days ago, i did not FREAK the F*CK OUT because i felt something crawling on me and it turned out to be a roach (CAN YOU BLAME ME?!). Living on a lake, hoo-freaking-ray.
My car did not completely and utterly DIE on me on Thursday. Really, it didn't. And i haven't been stranded in G's apartment since. Stranded is a bit harsh, cos i like it here, but i also haven't left the house since then except to go to the grocery, and might be starting to get a little claustrophobic. Just sayin'.
I also have not been avoiding the scale like the plague because i'm pretty sure i gained the last three pounds back by not really watching what i eat lately.
However, i did manage a few things:
Like talking to my mum again after a few bad days. Oh well.
Made some excellent rice pudding, one batch a little runny, one more solid and, y'know, pudding-y.
Sample poutin for the first time (not recommended if you intend to live past 30).
Have a good chat or two about the nebulous future and our even more nebulous plans.
Realize that i need more people in my life who will love me and support me for being just me, and that i don't have to feel ashamed for it.
Come to several, private, conclusions about life and family in general that made me a bit sad, but should be healthy in the long run. I SAID SHOULD!
Write out a fairly epic to-do list of things i want to get done today. And not get started on it, even though it's going to take forever.
Baby steps, y'know?
For example, G and i didn't get a little sloshed early last week and decide that oatmeal raisin cookies were required. Right then. I'm apparently now on the way to becoming a functioning alcoholic.
I also have not killed nearly the whole batch singlehandedly, because of course, i know after two months i am totally welcome to eat the food in here, and G is not my ex, and won't get mad at me for no reason.
Some night, a few days ago, i did not FREAK the F*CK OUT because i felt something crawling on me and it turned out to be a roach (CAN YOU BLAME ME?!). Living on a lake, hoo-freaking-ray.
My car did not completely and utterly DIE on me on Thursday. Really, it didn't. And i haven't been stranded in G's apartment since. Stranded is a bit harsh, cos i like it here, but i also haven't left the house since then except to go to the grocery, and might be starting to get a little claustrophobic. Just sayin'.
I also have not been avoiding the scale like the plague because i'm pretty sure i gained the last three pounds back by not really watching what i eat lately.
However, i did manage a few things:
Like talking to my mum again after a few bad days. Oh well.
Made some excellent rice pudding, one batch a little runny, one more solid and, y'know, pudding-y.
Sample poutin for the first time (not recommended if you intend to live past 30).
Have a good chat or two about the nebulous future and our even more nebulous plans.
Realize that i need more people in my life who will love me and support me for being just me, and that i don't have to feel ashamed for it.
Come to several, private, conclusions about life and family in general that made me a bit sad, but should be healthy in the long run. I SAID SHOULD!
Write out a fairly epic to-do list of things i want to get done today. And not get started on it, even though it's going to take forever.
Baby steps, y'know?
Thursday, June 25, 2009
FML, or, more reasons to hate my ex.
In a totally predictable move, my ex is asking for money. Now, before you read this, know that i'm actually not mad, i'm just really, really tired of the BS. To which the worst part is that it's just beginning.
Yesterday, i got an email from my lawyer asking me to come in. The tone of the email, just a line, i knew something was up. Today, i came strolling in, and found a letter in which my ex is asking for $84k, $12k, and/or $520. The 12 is a part of the 84, so he won't get both of those sums. I'm not really sure how much i will wind up paying, or to whom at this point. To fight it, i have to go to court, which i was not expecting at the get-go, which is going to mean money. That i don't have. Kind of like paying him is going to require large sums of money. Oh. That i don't have. Before, it was speculation. Now it's a fact. He is asking for cash, and i am going to have to pay some of it. I asked my lawyer to negotiate it out, see if he'll take 13k and leave it be, but i have little to no hope of that working out. Nevermind figuring out how i will pay this. But it's better than going to court. Probably, anyway. Or not.
F my life is an understatement right now.
PS--old joke: Q: Why is divorce so expensive?
A: Because it's WORTH it.
Yesterday, i got an email from my lawyer asking me to come in. The tone of the email, just a line, i knew something was up. Today, i came strolling in, and found a letter in which my ex is asking for $84k, $12k, and/or $520. The 12 is a part of the 84, so he won't get both of those sums. I'm not really sure how much i will wind up paying, or to whom at this point. To fight it, i have to go to court, which i was not expecting at the get-go, which is going to mean money. That i don't have. Kind of like paying him is going to require large sums of money. Oh. That i don't have. Before, it was speculation. Now it's a fact. He is asking for cash, and i am going to have to pay some of it. I asked my lawyer to negotiate it out, see if he'll take 13k and leave it be, but i have little to no hope of that working out. Nevermind figuring out how i will pay this. But it's better than going to court. Probably, anyway. Or not.
F my life is an understatement right now.
PS--old joke: Q: Why is divorce so expensive?
A: Because it's WORTH it.
Monday, June 22, 2009
NMM: Seriously Late Edition
It's still technically Monday, so it's still good. Don't judge me.
This last week, and last few days in general, i did not:
Get into some small hissy fit with my boyfriend, and wind up storming out of the apartment to cool off.
Which did not lead to some intense conversation that... anyway.
I did not slack off horribly on getting any work done, and of course finished my website and all my finals on time.
Not to mention that i was a good girl at work, didn't bitch, or try to leave early, or even blow my back out by reaching and stretching too far for two days. Because i've been doing this for over a year now, and i know better than all of those things. Especially the last.
I also didn't blow my promise to myself that I would stop chewing my nails and bite them ALL off. Again. I would never!!
There was no weight gain of over a pound this week. Really. Truly. Didn't happen.
I haven't been sleeping poorly and avoiding my family either. Or spending time with the boyfriend's family instead because i actually like them, they're nice to me, and they encourage said boy to not f*ck things up with me. Which makes me obscenely happy.
I've not been sitting here for days agonizing over what class to drop in three weeks, because i can't handle five classes (17 hours!!). Maybe i can, but i am SO not willing to try.
I do however, have a huge headache which is making me photosensitive, so i AM going to bed. But other than that, this week has not been bad at all.
This last week, and last few days in general, i did not:
Get into some small hissy fit with my boyfriend, and wind up storming out of the apartment to cool off.
Which did not lead to some intense conversation that... anyway.
I did not slack off horribly on getting any work done, and of course finished my website and all my finals on time.
Not to mention that i was a good girl at work, didn't bitch, or try to leave early, or even blow my back out by reaching and stretching too far for two days. Because i've been doing this for over a year now, and i know better than all of those things. Especially the last.
I also didn't blow my promise to myself that I would stop chewing my nails and bite them ALL off. Again. I would never!!
There was no weight gain of over a pound this week. Really. Truly. Didn't happen.
I haven't been sleeping poorly and avoiding my family either. Or spending time with the boyfriend's family instead because i actually like them, they're nice to me, and they encourage said boy to not f*ck things up with me. Which makes me obscenely happy.
I've not been sitting here for days agonizing over what class to drop in three weeks, because i can't handle five classes (17 hours!!). Maybe i can, but i am SO not willing to try.
I do however, have a huge headache which is making me photosensitive, so i AM going to bed. But other than that, this week has not been bad at all.
for anyone who stumbled on the blog yesterday, or even earlier today, and saw a post that is no longer there, know that you're not crazy.
i moved the post. it was a little too open, a little too emotional. it's been reposted in the LJ, and private-ized, cos i don't know what else to do with it. sorreh?
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009
NMM: Atlanta weekend edition
This weekend we did go to Atlanta. While there, a few things didn't happen:
Namely going to the High Museum. Because my boyfriend is, of course, mature, giving, definitely didn't decide to get all snippy, and didn't pitch a small fit about getting a pork in the oven. And me being all mature as well, i didn't go all cold on him for not doing the one thing i wanted to do this weekend. Of course not, why would i do that?
Also, we went and walked around pretty places, full of pretty people, and took lots of pictures. Really. Cos that was totally supposed to happen, so it did. Actually, that one was fine. But we did it, of course, so it got mentioned.
We didn't have the worst sushi in the world at a place that was supposed to be really good. With something resembling the worst service in the world to boot. Yugh. Cos, really, when you walk into a place pumping Japanese techno at full volume with at least two tables full of folks who are definitely "tools," and it takes forever to get a cup of water, you should know better and walk out, and that's what we did.
Because we were out of town, and i'm such a good girl (who might be on academic probation), i totally did my homework. Totally. Yes. And my website that's due tomorrow is TOTALLY done. Totally.
However, we did actually have a good time, and there's a few things that truly did happen:
I lost another pound over the week. Hooray.
Got to take a roadie with G! Which is just freaking awesome. Cos a five hour drive on your own blows.
Seeing L & B again was amazing. It's been just over a month from the last time, and that's awesome.
We spent some time watching Chuck. Which just always is a good time. Or awesome.
We actually did manage to go walk around a few places. That were way too hipster for us to be there. I didn't have enough tattoos to cover us all to be able to fit in there. Lame!
Found an awesome pub in ATL that served goat cheese fritters!! GOAT CHEESE!
Discovered why exactly Farmer's Markets are incredible. Cheap spices, TONS of fish, meat, and OMG cheese. I could drool just thinking about that alone.
Namely going to the High Museum. Because my boyfriend is, of course, mature, giving, definitely didn't decide to get all snippy, and didn't pitch a small fit about getting a pork in the oven. And me being all mature as well, i didn't go all cold on him for not doing the one thing i wanted to do this weekend. Of course not, why would i do that?
Also, we went and walked around pretty places, full of pretty people, and took lots of pictures. Really. Cos that was totally supposed to happen, so it did. Actually, that one was fine. But we did it, of course, so it got mentioned.
We didn't have the worst sushi in the world at a place that was supposed to be really good. With something resembling the worst service in the world to boot. Yugh. Cos, really, when you walk into a place pumping Japanese techno at full volume with at least two tables full of folks who are definitely "tools," and it takes forever to get a cup of water, you should know better and walk out, and that's what we did.
Because we were out of town, and i'm such a good girl (who might be on academic probation), i totally did my homework. Totally. Yes. And my website that's due tomorrow is TOTALLY done. Totally.
However, we did actually have a good time, and there's a few things that truly did happen:
I lost another pound over the week. Hooray.
Got to take a roadie with G! Which is just freaking awesome. Cos a five hour drive on your own blows.
Seeing L & B again was amazing. It's been just over a month from the last time, and that's awesome.
We spent some time watching Chuck. Which just always is a good time. Or awesome.
We actually did manage to go walk around a few places. That were way too hipster for us to be there. I didn't have enough tattoos to cover us all to be able to fit in there. Lame!
Found an awesome pub in ATL that served goat cheese fritters!! GOAT CHEESE!
Discovered why exactly Farmer's Markets are incredible. Cheap spices, TONS of fish, meat, and OMG cheese. I could drool just thinking about that alone.
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